American Madness

If it hadn’t been published 6 days prior to the 1st I would assume this wasn’t for real, in fact it is so unbelievable I am just going to start off by quoting the first line: “Farmers in North Queensland are doing their bit to be environmentally friendly by investing in a tree that produces diesel.”

The U.S. is currently struggling with oil prices topping $110 a barrel (in no small part thanks to our involvement over seas, can we get a “Go Team!”?). We are fighting to convince car companies and industries that use vast amounts of oil to figure ways to cut back, like producing cars that are more fuel efficient or don’t need it at all. Australians, on the other hand, are taking a tip from Brazil and have purchased over 20,000 trees that produce “oil that can be extracted, filtered and used to power vehicles” that run on diesel.

Although it is apparently a long term investment (it takes between 15 and 20 years for the trees to mature enough and become ready to harvest for oil), though once they have matured, a hectare (100 meters square) can produce 12,000 litres of fuel a year (a bit over 3,000 gallons… or a little more then 75 barrels).

Oh and because it is a tree it is also a renewable source of energy. You can read more about the trees here. Maybe some one might want to mention this to our government.

Even with all the Super Soldier postings listed yesterday there were still a few I didn’t get a chance to cover, so we are following up with a couple of more Super Soldier postings today, not to worry, thee will be other content as well.

We start the day with a tidbit from Aviation Week: We have another DARPA project (Actually DARPAtech according to the article) that deals with MEMS program or Micro Electro-Mechanical Systems, basically very very small computers. Actually, the focus is on a subgroup of the MEMS program, the HI-MEMS- Hybrid Insect Micro Electro-Mechanical Systems.

Researchers are injecting MEMS into moths during the pupa stage of development and become integrated into the moths’ bodies. They have got this covered and, apparently it works, now they are working on figuring out what they can actually do with this technology.

Yes, you read that correctly, they decided to fiddle about with moths, impeding mini-computers into them and yet they have no application yet for doing this. Kind of seems a bit backwards.

Researchers are working to figure out if they’ll be able to use the MEMS to control the moth’s flight and are working on other applications that might be possible. Dr. Amit Lal, who presented on this topic “closed his presentation with references to science fiction and fantasy: R2-D2 helped Luke pilot his X-Wing fighter. Could insects assist human flight?”

Apparently the pentagon is planning a new program to implant microchips into soldiers. They claim it is so that they can monitor their biological activities like brain waves, stress-levels, heart-rate, etc., but we all know it is so that they can take over their minds and turn them into brainless killing machines.

Fortunately for us, before the military has their computer-controlled human killing-machines they need to develop them first. The Department of Defense has awarded the $1.6 million dollar contract to development the microchips to the Center for Bioelectronics, Biosensors and Biochips (C3B) at Clemson University.

According to the Press Esc, Anthony Guiseppi-Elie, C3B director, believes that the chip will have many benefits, including feeding back vital information on injured soldiers that would other wise take crucial time to figure out as the injured party got worse. Beyond just military applications, Guiseppi-Elie sees other applications like monitoring blood-sugar levels in diabetics and “getting vital information such as how much oxygen is in the tissue back to ER physicians and medical personnel… Our goal is to improve the quality and expediency of care for fallen soldiers and civilian trauma victims… The biochip also may be injected as a precaution to future traumas.”

Although the chip is 5 years away still don’t surprised to see a run on tin foil hats in the years leading up to their eventual implantation into the nex-wave of soldiers.

Remember those articles I posted months ago about 3D printers that were able to produce small plastic parts designed on your computer (this one and this one)?

Well color me impressed- researchers from the University of Tokyo Hospital have developed a method to make “tailor-made artificial bones for use in facial reconstructive surgery.” The method is essentially the same as with the other 3D printing, the model is created in 3D on a computer and sent to a special 3D Inkjet printer:

To make an artificial bone with this technology, a 3D computer model of the bone is first created based on the patient’s X-ray and CT scan data. The computer model is then sliced into a large number of cross-sections and the data is sent to a special 3D inkjet printer, which works sort of like an ordinary inkjet printer by transferring tiny droplets of liquid onto a surface. However, unlike ordinary printers that print on paper, this one prints onto thin layers of powdered alpha-tricalcium phosphate (alpha-TCP). The “ink” is a water-based polymer adhesive that hardens the alpha-TCP it comes into contact with. By repeatedly laying down the powder and printing successive layers on top of one another, the printer is able to physically reproduce the desired bone to an accuracy of one millimeter.

It passed the Welsh Corgi test (okay, well, they tested it first on a Welsh Corgi) and then 10 human subjects over the past year and a half constituted the round of human testing. In the next few years the second round of testing will be in place for 70 more human subjects. The benefit of the 3D printed bones is that they are cheaper and easier to construct then the current artificial bone options, they are also 10 times stronger (though not quite strong enough for load-bearing bones). This is pretty awesome on a number of levels and a great example about how advances in technology can also lead to beneficial advancements in both health care and quality of life.

So now that the courts have rules that a Pennsylvania school district cannot teach Intelligent Design (a lovely concept that says some “things” were created by a supernatural being), we can now ask the questions that need to be asked.

First of all, is it intelligent design that a sewage pipe runs through our recreational area? What kind of supernatural being would design such a thing? A supernatural engineer who flunked out of MIT?

Plus, why only one mouth? It is very difficult for some people to talk out of both sides of their mouth, and if they had two, hypocrisy would move along that much faster.

Finally, why do some male genitals hook to the left? I haven?t actually seen this phenomenon in action, but some women I know swear that it?s true. They also seem to think this model hits the G-Spot much more efficiently. This is confusing. Does this mean the G-Spot is on the right? Can?t we all compensate by moving a bit to the left? Is this more information than anyone needs to know?

Questions, questions.

I really wanted to pose these and other queries to the Dover Area School District in Pennsylvania. But now that the school board’s decision has been termed ?breathtaking inanity? by a federal judge, I?ll just have to ask my priest or rabbi or legalized Nevada hooker. Unless they overturn her, too.

All the hundreds of fans who packed the Philadelphia streets Saturday for an open casting call for extras for the new Rocky movie needed was a picture, a resume and a simple message that would have made the fictional ex-champ proud: “Yo, pick me!” Fifteen years after starring in Rocky V, Sylvester Stallone is reprising his role as the boxing champ from South Philadelphia in the upcoming movie “Rocky Balboa.”

I didn’t know Rocky was getting back into the ring, did you? I thought Rocky V showed an aging, brain-damaged puncher who was headed for an early demise. How can this character perform a comeback?

Does Balboa move around the ring with a cane? A walker? Does he wear Depends?

If he was finished in 1991, how does the 2006 version fight anyone with a pulse? Maybe that’s it: Rocky fights Max Schmelling. With one hand behind his back. No problem, because one good kick and Schmelling’s bones will role off the canvas.

I’d pay to see Rocky kick Max Schmelling’s bones. I’d also pay to see Rocky fight in one of those motorized wheelchairs that run over your toes. That hasn’t happened to you? Just wait.

Rocky was a great series that jumped the shark after Mr. T’s Clubber Lang. I wish they wouldn’t keep these things going on and on forever like they did with Planet of the Apes.

First came the great Charlton Heston movie. Then came the the great sequel where the world blew up. Then the next one where the Apes went back in time….well, that was pretty bad. Then the fourth one where the apes stated a small boutique in Bloomington, Indiana which grew and grew until it was able to take on WalMart…I thought the whole premise was unrealistic. Apes hate Indiana.

I hope Rocky fights Dr. Zais. I’d pay to see that. The could both trip over Max Schmelling’s bones, and then the Ape could throw a bone up in the air like one did in 2001: A Space Odyssey. A great monolith could rise from the center of the ring, and Sylvester Stallone could be shown as a space baby, sucking his thumb.

I’d pay to see that.

Ever eat a lemon?

Picture a series of lemon-eating, funky-lip faces, a wonderful Andy Warhol montage. I would pay $400 Zlotys to see it at New York’s Whitney Museum. I would pay $280 Zlotys to see it at the San Antonio Museum for the Arts. In Burkina Faso you might have to pay me to see it, as there is no direct flight and the rebels have captured all the artists.

I once read that Texas dentists were trying to get children to stop eating lemons. There is a tradition of Southwest lemon eating that goes back generations: cut a hole in a lemon, shove in some dried, salted piece of fruit called “Chinese candy,” and then squeeze the tangy, salty juice all over your tounge and your fringed rodeo shirt and your alligator boots and everything else you?ve got on.

Well it seems lemon eating plays hell with your tooth enamel, and Texans have been urged by their dentists to cease and desist and watch Lemony Snicket movies instead. Which is not to say that Jim Carey is a favorite of Lone Star dentists either, but at least he doesn?t promote tooth decay. They think.

On the other hand, a chat room poster I know named Green Hell reminds us that ?lemons rock, brilliant when your slamming tequila and you just eat one! Gobble…?

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Today I visited the Motor Vehicle Division to renew my driver’s license. I thought the photo came out a little better than most:

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There is the old joke about a couple of men at a party watching the dog of the house as he licked his private parts.

?I wonder why he does that,? one wondered.

The other smiled and said ?Because he can.?

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Yesterday, I was catching up on my backlog of podcasts from ITConversations, and heard an interesting piece on biotechnology.

The interviewer (Dr. Moira Gunn) was speaking with the Senior Vice President of BioGaia, Anders Zachrisson, about their discoveries and products. Zachrisson and co. are using so called “good bacteria” to counter digestive tract infections with “bad bacteria.” In particular, Lactobacillus reuteri eradicates Helicobacter pylori. Translated to english, that means that a helpful, natural bacterial that resides in our digestive tract can kill off a nasty ulcer and cancer causing bacteria that was previously only treatable with massive doses of antibiotics; antibiotics which many strains of the bug are quicky developing a resistance to.

Their clinical results have been incredibly positive, with a high cure rate and zero side effects.

In a strange coincidence, as I was listening to this yesterday, two Australian researchers were being awarded the Nobel Prize for their discovery that bacteria cause ulcers. That discovery has lead to the development of treatments such as L. reuteri, and will change the way modern medicine treats ulcers and other digestive tract ailments.

Italy is the first market to allow the usage of L. reuteri, and it’s already helping millions of people there. It’ll be interesting to see how long it takes the product to make it’s way through the FDA approval process here in the US.

• Listen to the interview