Archive for February, 2006

Port Security

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006

Bush no know about port sale.

Does it really matter whether this deal means Dubai will control security for our ports? If they control the ports, their personnel have access, and who is monitoring their hiring?

Does our security apparatus have the power to veto their hires if we believe unsavory elements attempt to infiltrate their presumably well-intentioned company? That’s the key issue here.

Obviously, foreign ownership of a port is not in and of itself a national security issue, else we wouldn’t allow the British to currently control the ports in question.

But this issue is further evidence that the Bush whitehouse has a tin ear on these matters.

The VP’s Dick, er, Duck Shoot

Monday, February 13th, 2006

Straight Shooter

A visibly embarrassed Dick Cheney Monday apologized to his close friend for shooting him in a bizarre hunting-related accident.

“I’m really sorry. I thought he was carrying a weapon of mass destruction,” said Cheney. “Contrary to what some of you all are saying out there, I didn’t shoot him because he was a lawyer.”

Cheney peppered his friend, Austin attorney Harry Whittington, with buckshot as the two attempted to flush out a covey of quails, or perhaps a bevy, said one source who wasn’t sure what to call “a bunch of stupid birds hopping around in a thicket.” The 78-year-old was in stable condition at an area hospital.

“I always was a pain in Dick’s butt,” said Whittington. “Now he’s a pain in mine.”

Whittington was lucky, White House personnel said. Cheney, also called “Heart Attack” and “Stent Boy” by his Secret Service guards is constantly surrounded by some of the world’s best medical personnel. And Democrats noted the Vice President shoots about as well as he conducts foreign policy.

Cheney agreed his buddy of many years got off lightly and then told reporters to leave him alone.

“Heck, it’s not like I stripped him of his citizenship and shipped him off to the land of his ancestors to be tortured. Would you lighten up and go write about Mohammed cartoons for Chrissakes,” he barked at reporters.

****

Mobile’s Burning
Oh, arsonists. Yoo hoo!!!

Yes, you boys in Alabama. The ones with matches and extra gas cans in the back of your rickety pickup truck.

The Feds want to talk to you. Yes. Just talk. It’s safe to come out now or give them a call, maybe meet over a double latte at Starbucks in Mobile. They’re not at all interested in maybe, well, arresting your keesters for having burned down 10 churches.

One other thing, you stupid sickos. They really seem empathetic to you and appreciate the fact that you haven’t killed anyone.

Want their phone number?

It’s Like a Padded Cell On Wheels!

Thursday, February 9th, 2006

I don’t know what to make of it. The NY Times features a rather gratuitous story about hunger strikes as Guantanamo Bay and how the prison guards go about feeding prisoners who are near death.

Then right next to the the article they have this picture. It’s “an ad on the Web for the restraint chairs that were sent to the Guantanamo detention center.”

Restraint Chair

Looks like The Times has taken up the old blogger trick of pulling ads off websites to feature next to their stories. Much cheaper than hiring one of those expensive photographers. I guess they couldn’t do an exclusive photo shoot.

Area Man Loses Confidence in Bank of America

Wednesday, February 8th, 2006

No, this isn’t an Onion article, though, yes, I am the area man. And I am suffering.

Bank of American has annoyed me for the last time, and now they will soon be losing me. Just how difficult is it to provide a functional money market account? I first signed up for one a year ago, and it promptly disappeared! No money was lost, but the account just –poof– was gone one day.

So I set up another account. I was assured I had a balance sufficient to not be charged anything extra. But they’ve been charging me $10 maintenance fees ever since impementing the account.

Each time, I’ve gone in an had the fees refunded. Finally, instead of figuring out why the computer was mischarging me, they told their system to provide an automatic refund, which as a procedure does not really appeal to my desire for rational solutions.

Now they are charging me a $5 fee citing “statement copy requested”! I’ve requested no such thing.

I’m taking my money somewhere else, BofA. Find another sucker.

Google joins the corporate pack

Thursday, February 2nd, 2006

I must agree with the initial thesis my colleague Adam, who writes that Google Was Evil, Is Evil, and Will Be Evil. I urge him to stick to his guns, despite a polite reply to Philipp Lenssen of Google Blogoscoped, who has challenged the (clearly prevalent) viewpoint that Google has shed its (apparently gilded) “good guy” reputation. Lenssen’s response seems an appeal more to emotion than to reason.

Google has great tools, and yes they started out with no advertising, but Google — a public company in its current incarnation — exists primarily to provide shareholder value via the exploitation of its useful services to drive revenue.

It is not a “good” company if it derives revenue from its services in such a manner that its clients and audience consider it more classy. Eschewing pop-up ads, content-covering ads, or other obnoxious forms of corporate promotion don’t make Google “good,” but merely savvy, as they are clearly focused on the long-term.

But there are ethical limits to a long-term focus. Google appeasers sound like any of a number of ends-justify-the-means historical apologists.

Are Google supporters so callow as to argue that censoring search terms is somehow benign? What if the NYTimes, as a condition of maintaining its print and web presence in China, voluntarily agreed to remove from its coverage and its content any mention of injustice at the hands of the Chinese regime? I certainly hope Times readers would see this is a total abrogation of a newspaper’s mission of informing the public, a mission all the more critical when that information is contrary to the wishes of a ruling elite.

How then is it any less critical for Google to allow all speech to reach those who would use the search portal as a means to access truth? Google has a responsibility just as great as any one newspaper, and in its aggregation of many news sources, as great as all newspapers combined, to allow information to flow freely.

The argument, by Google apologists, appears to be that the Chinese people will benefit so greatly from a legally-obtainable ability to search via Google, even with restrictions in place, that Google should clearly violate its own stated goal to not do evil. This is absurd, and presumes rather haughtily that Google is somehow an essential service and not merely another search offering.

Chinese dissidents will still be able to search for officially restricted information via proxy servers whether or not Google chooses to remain chummy with the Chinese authorities. Competitors like Yahoo and Baidu already provide basic search services. Google isn’t providing potable water, and no matter how much they’d like to think that they are filling some indispensable need they do not offer life-sustaining services, so there is no wisp of an argument for a “greater-good” plea.

What a deal with the Chinese government does allow is for Google to continue its profitable ventures in that country free of official condemnation.

Google, get over yourself. You are marginally more effective than your competitors at search and vastly smarter when it comes to data aggregation and advertising. Your stockholders should feel proud of your determination to increase profits by officially opening your platform to a Chinese audience. Your adherents, such as they are, should stop deluding themselves that your corporate mindset represents any but the most cynical.